Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Dialogue

Nolan Callahan
Dialogue

A: “There’s a hundred-thousand streets in this city. You don’t need too know the route. You give me a time and a place, I give you a five minute window. Anything happens in that window and I’m yours. No matter what. Anything happens a minute either side of that and you’re on your own. Do you understand”
B: “Since when the fuck did we need to have all of these fucking rules?”
A:“You really want me to answer that question? Do you want more rules, because that’s not a problem at all”
B:“I just don’t understand why it needs to be like this after all of this time. You know me, you know I’m not going to fuck this up.”
A: “Listen, I’m not here to have you try and make a case for yourself. I just told you what the deal is. You tell me where and I’ll tell you when I’ll be there, from that point on you know what the fucking drill is.”
B: “Yeah, I know what the drill is these days, but..”
A: “But nothing. I don’t get why you’re not understanding this, Brian.”
B: “Things just used to be different, that’s all.”
A: “Yeah well look at the job you did to change that. Boo hoo, honestly I don’t even understand why I still show up.”
B:“No no, please I know that I’ve fucked things up before, but I promise I won’t this time, please trust me on this.”
A: “Trust you? What planet are you on that you’d imagine I’d have even the slightest bit of trust for you still. I don’t need to trust you, I simply need to show up. You lost my trust a long time ago.”
B: “I know I can regain it though”
A: “Don’t try, the more and more you beg the less interested I become in working with you at all. I’m over the song and fucking dance, honestly.”
B: “But do you remember…”
A: “Stop the bullshit. Are we doing business?”
B: “Yes, I need more than the usual this time though. There’s some sort of industry conference in town this week, bunch of big time players from out west are flying in, and they need something to hold them over. My friend Marty is the one that let me know, his friend Kevin is coming from the Bay Area, and asked Marty if he could plug it up. You remember Marty right?”
A: “That moron from the Italian restaurant?”
B: “Yeah the one we… never mind that. Marty says these guys are really big time out in California, and you know how badly I want to get into the business out there.”
A: “Do you think mine isn’t the best you can get in New York City?”
B: “No No No, I’m not saying that at all. That isn’t what I meant, I…”
A: “You what? You want to impress your idiot friend Marty? Or you just wanna do whatever you can to make these people like you? Maybe get your big break out to California so you can run away from here like a fucking coward.”
B: “I just…”
A: “Look I fucking know, alright. But even if you manage to fake out these California people, you can’t slip that shit by me. I know exactly who the fuck you are and how you fucking operate, and just because I stand to make money off of you do not think that changes a single thing about the way I think about you.”
B: “Look that was a long time ag….”
A: “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don’t care how fucking long ago it was. Be fucking lucky that the times changed so quickly and your bitch ass was able to sneak around in the shadows. For whatever stupid ass reason I kept you afloat. And what do I get in return? Some lead from your dumbass friend Marty that may or may not even turn into something.”
B: “Marty said these guys are big spenders. They don’t fuck around. You know I wouldn’t hit you up after everything that happened unless this was legit. You’re the only person on the East Coast I can get this much from in time.”
A:“You think I don’t fucking know that? You should be in fucking jail for what you did Brian, but here you are, per usual, begging me for your usual fucking crumbs off my table.”
B: “I need 5 pounds.”
A: “5 pounds of flower? That’s not near worth my time”
B: “No, full melt.”
A: “Fuck that is more than your usual. Remember, time, and place. I’ll let you know the window"
B: "Thanks, Amanda. You know I appreciate it."
A: "Yeah, Yeah, whatever you say."

1 comment:

  1. Dear Nolan, Yes, you've created a high stakes situation where you're characters are at odds--both want something from the other person, but it's not clear how they are going to navigate their differences. This helps to create conflict. I like too that they have a fairly comfortable back and forth and that Brian is trying to prove himself to Amanda. My only suggestion is that you figure out a way to have them speak without profanity. I don't mind swearing, but I also think it's a short cut to revealing anger or emotion and that you, as the writer, have to work harder to make the voices sing. These two characters are distinct, and we need to be able to hear their voices without the f-bomb--make them express their emotions more clearly--you are clearly capable of that. This piece may be useful as you develop your podcast.

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